Keeping Your Work Environment Positive Begins Within You

EDITOR’S NOTE: This week, Management in Motion is pleased to welcome a guest blogger, Kristen Darcy, an award-winning author, fertility coach, motivational speaker and expert on the emotional aspects of infertility and other life challenges.

Do you realize that you might spend more time with your work family than your own family? Given that time creates a familial dynamic, do you sometimes wonder how you keep the peace at work without assuming a parental or sibling role?

Creating work place awareness or developing a culture by design begins within.  

Early in my career, I worked with an all women staff at my mother’s nursing home (nepotism and those issues comprise a whole other article). There were moments when the employees acted like sibling rivals. Most of the arguments were about who was going to wear the fancy white hairnets, which everyone originally perceived negatively. Then, employees started complaining when they didn't get that one white fancy hair net. Since we were all teens this made sense. We were all competing for the perceived wanted item. 

What was most disconcerting to me at the time was the "back stabbing" chatter, such as “Can you believe her?” “What’s up with that?” and so on.

Fast forward to when I opened my learning center. Once again, it was an all-women environment, though a more grown up version that still functioned like a family.  The atmosphere was littered with side bar conversations where one person was pitted against another or one faction opposed to another one.

Uniting the workforce, in my humble opinion, begins from the top down. It has to be cared for each and every day by each employee from the inside out.

The intent to do no harm and uplift the environment might be in the mission statement but how do you translate that into your daily interaction with your fellow employees?

Confucius’ statement, “Remember, no matter where you go, there you are” is a perfect mirror to create a work environment of peace.  

What bothers you the most about someone could be making you aware about an opportunity to work on yourself? For example, you might be critical of a coworker who is late, doesn't finish a project on time, or is a complainer instead of a solution provider.

What do these people trigger within you?  Do they trigger judgment, resentment, or frustration?  Ask yourself how you feel, and then follow up with: “What do I need?” Then you can focus on coming from a perspective of peacemaking, and offering solution driven action steps instead of complaining.

Once a well-respected, hard-working and caring teacher came into my office to announce that she just had it!  She was done with the chatter and sniping coming from another teacher.  That day my tolerance level was a bit low. Upon hearing the “same song, different verse” energy, I stopped what I was doing to bring the other well educated, caring, and loving teacher into my office, forcing the two women to have a face to face conversation. I was done with their negative energy.

That day, I learned there are unconscious patterns that trigger life experiences and play out in the work place.  Here’s the kicker. Most are not even aware that an old pattern or script is playing out, and that an autopilot response ripples out, creating unease.

I also learned it’s never about the other person and what they do, e.g., leaving five minutes early, leaving the lunch room a mess, fill in the description of the complaint.  It is the meaning you are assigning to these interactions that creates the lack of peace or positive energy. 

So, what do you need?  What are you feeling?  How do you create peace within so that it vibrates out into the workplace, family life, and world?

Did you hear your answer?  If yes, then what are you doing to nurture that need?

Peaceful working on you and your shadow parts (aka the triggers) creates peace in whatever environment you find yourself. 

So once again, “Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.”

Here’s some homework:

Take time to write down five things you like about your “work” you.  Perhaps it’s your organizational skills, your communication style, or maybe your ability to cut through all the minutia and keep everyone on task?  Write down the five you dig about yourself.

Now write down the five traits that irritate you the most about your co-workers?  What do they have in common? How can you look at the irritants and what can you learn about yourself to create peace?

Peace within ripples outward! 

Kristen Darcy is an award-winning author, fertility coach, motivational speaker and expert on the emotional aspects of infertility and other life challenges. Kristen also consults with fertility providers and organizations, teaching them how to attract and retain clients by emotionally treating patients and providing the ultimate patient experience.

Kristen is the advisor, supporter, and friend infertile women need. Kristen Magnacca was one of the first former patients and fertility survivors who addressed the mental and emotional crisis of infertility. She is the author of the groundbreaking Girlfriend to Girlfriend: A Fertility Companion (First Books Library, 2000) as well as the award-winning Love & Infertility: Survival Strategies for Balancing Infertility, Marriage and Life (LifeLine Press, 2004). Love and Infertility is the inaugural recipient of the Hope Award, Best Book Coping, from RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and 2014 is the tenth anniversary of its publication.

Kristen testified before the US Senate in the spring of 2000 about the importance of government funding for fertility research and holistic treatment. She has been highlighted in national publications and broadcast media including NBC’s The Today Show,Woman’s World magazine, PBS’ Health Week and The Boston Globe. She also is a former board member and volunteer for RESOLVE of New England. 

Learn more about Kristen at www.kristenmagnacca.com.